Life, the Universe and Everything...

...from the female (gender-wise, anyway ;) ) side of this blog.

Friggin' turd. I like that. I like that a lot. And I think I'm going to steal it for my own the next time the hubby does something manlike (read: stupid). I'm sure Thom will be fine with it. What's a little plagiarism between friends?

Thom needn't have worried about saying that men are stupid. Everyone's entitled to. Men are because, well, they're speaking about themselves (even if it's indirectly). Women are, too, because we have to put up with the stupid men in question. So consider it a free-for-all, Thom, and rant away. :)

Reading his entry today, I had an epiphany. I saw it from an outsiders' point of view - the way someone who just happened to stumble onto this blog might see it. And it looks disturbingly like I (or maybe Thom, depending on how you look at it) have some sort of multiple personality thing going on and each personality contributes her (or his) own spin on their posts. It was a little disconcerting...in a good sort of way. So I might have to talk Thom into taking some candid snaps with me so we can show that we are, indeed, two separate people.

God, I'm glad for that. I love Thom, but I'm convinced that that beard would ITCH.

The boyfriend news isn't really news. Not to me. I heard about it this past weekend, during my usual bumming-around-Thom's-place Saturday. My thoughts? Well... First, I thought the boyfriend was a putz. Second, I wanted to find him and cheerfully kick his ass for hurting my Thom. (And yes, I think of him as mine. Not in that weird "fag hag" sort of way. More like a protective best friends sort of way. After all, if he weren't around, who else would I giggle and talk about boys with? Um...not that I do, of course...but... Damn.)

Okay...maybe he's *our* Thom. The hubby and me. (We've both told Thom that if we were gay males we'd be fighting - to the death! - for the right to date him. So yeah. Ours. :) )

What can I say? Thom just rocks. :)

Ahem. Anyhow...

Yeah, the boyfriend thing was a shock on Saturday. But I didn't have much time to plan his sudden-and-suspicious disappearance, because by that afternoon he had called and all was right with the world again. Good thing he came to his senses, and his man moment was just a minor one.

He's safe for now, but I'm keeping my eye on him.

There's a lady I work with who wore this dress yesterday. The back of the dress has a big open space in it that shows the part of the back that's between the shoulderblades (hard to picture, but it'd actually be pretty cute on someone with the right figure). This woman is...shall we say...a little on the round side. Okay, a LOT on the round side. (Cut me some slack - I was trying to be nice). And I swear, that space in the back of her dress looked like it was filled with ass crack.

I've seen my first ever spine cleavage, and have come away afraid. And scarred for life.

*Shudder*

Also, I discovered not long ago that Twig wore her tiara at the behest of someone else there. Apparently, she wanted to wear it but had to be talked into it because she wasn't going to do it. Why, you ask? Well...get this...

She thought people would be jealous.

Yep, that's what I said. Jealous. Of a cheap crown from a high school dance. Uh huh.

Oh, watch us turn green with envy.

Someone here *might* be jealous if there was some sort of cash prize to go with the crown. Or if, maybe, the title boosted her into super stardom and she started doing movies and got her own talk show. And that's a *big* maybe.

Me, I still find her annoying. And I still want to feed her lard.

But if that equals envy in her world...

Wow, she's going to have a rude awakening when she finds out that means exactly fuck all in the real world. I wish I could be there to see it. Oh, how I'd LAUGH.

My "black thumb" seems to be more a dirty shade of grey now. I was watering the plants (those that have actually grown, anyway) yesterday and I noticed that the flowers are growing. Okay. They're not flowers yet. Right now they're just tiny little stems with little round leaves on them (kind of cute, actually). But there's growth, damnit! Now if I can get them to grow all over instead of in little clumps I might be in business. One step at a time.

Right now I have more of a problem figuring out how to cut the grass on the hill. I can't just run a mower over it, as I don't want to mutilate the ivy and the tiny little flower seedlings. But short of being on my knees with a pair of scissors I'm sort of lost on how to go about it. Any suggestions would be great (I'm looking in your direction, Thom!).

In fact, the whole yard needs a good cut. I told the guy with the mower no a few weeks ago and nobody has been back since. (Despite him saying he'd be around the next day). And the hubby and I don't have a mower. I hope someone comes around again soon, and that they're not all done for the year. There's a lot of time for grass to grow between now and winter.

Of course, the extra height would be good for covering up the grave I'll have to dig when I figure out who keeps throwing trash in the yard. I'm just saying.

I guess that's enough out of me. I'd write about the cake from this past weekend, but it was for Thom's birthday so I'll let him do the honors if he so chooses. THAT will be an interesting post. ;)

Bye for now!